There’s a big temptation in life to agree with everyone around you.
It makes life easier in the short run. More people smile at you. And many will spend more time with you if you are open to their views reigning supreme.
Personally I am not one to get into a verbal brawl with a new connection who has strong views with which I disagree. In that case I will often handle it with silence. Don’t get me wrong. I like a good argument. But I tend to have those fun conversations with people who are closer to me.
And I think that is the mark of a good friendship – the ability to say what you really feel without worry of damaging that relationship. Assuming you are not being abusive.
So I’m lucky to have people around that disagree with me.
My favorite blog comments are often the ones that take a different view. Or agree with parts and disagree with others. People like Thom Singer and Richard Blackburn aren’t afraid to disagree with me. For example, read Thom’s great comments on the post about thank you notes after an interview.
I am lucky to have friends here in Orange County who also blog about career, social media and leadership. Neal Schaffer and Kevin Liebl aren’t afraid to take a different view and I appreciate them for it.
So how can being disagreeable help you (and others) in your job search?
1. During job interviews, be yourself. There are benefits to being yourself and sticking to your work philosophy. Because if a company makes you an offer, it will be a reinforcement of you. Not put you in a position where you have to operate as someone else for as long as you work there. You’ll never know if you are a good fit for the job if you answer questions with “what they apparently want to hear”. If someone asks you if you are comfortable working alone vs. part of a team. Be honest. Even if it is not the answer they were looking for.
2. Be honest with people at networking events. There are ways to bruise a networking relationship. To make mistakes that can harm your message. So if you meet people who are doing it wrong, you need to tell them. For example, if someone shows up a networking event wearing shorts and a tank top (it happens), do the right thing and let them know they are doing it wrong. While some may not like hearing it, you are doing them a huge favor. So, If I had a spot on my tie, would you tell me?
3. Be a tough accountability partner for someone. And let people be that person for you. Sometimes your accountability partner will push you to do something that your not comfortable doing. Or prevent you (the tough love method) from making a mistake. For example, if your partner has called a recruiter 4 times this week and wants your support to make a fifth call. You can break the chain and tell them to stop. To let go. And stop pursuing.
Being disagreeable can be just the elixir you and your network require during job search. To share a different view doesn’t make you a bad person. As long as it is not done with arrogance, ignorance or spite. No one appreciates an apparent “know it all”.
And a message to you. Whether you read this blog every day or are here for the first time, hear this: It’s OK to disagree with me. You will not fall out of favor. I will not delete your comment. And I will not beat you up in my reply.
I will keep writing about ideas and sharing opinions that are sometimes on the edge. Because I want to smear away the status-quo where I can – especially when a career topic is in desperate need of a fresh perspective.
If you think I’m wrong. Say so.
