1. School emergency-Get a friend to call you just before the meeting and pretend that it’s your son’s school asking you to come and collect him because he’s taken ill. When your boss points out you don’t have any children, just mention something about only finding your long lost, school age son last week and then rush out the door before your boss can reply.
2. I feel faint-Here’s how to pull a sickie that everyone will believe. Don’t eat for a few days before the meeting. By the day of the meeting, you’ll literally be ready to faint. When you do faint, make sure it’s right in front of your boss so he’ll understand how ‘ill’ you are and send you home straight away.
3. Where are the chairs?-Before the meeting starts, slip into the meeting room, take all the chairs out and hide them. When everyone comes in for the meeting, there’ll be nowhere to sit! Oh well, better cancel the meeting…
4. Oooh, me back-When lifting a ‘heavy’ box, scream out in pain and drop the box. When everyone comes running, make sure you’re writhing around the floor in ‘agony’ screaming ‘my back!’, ‘my back!’ With a ‘back injury’ that bad, there’s no way you can sit through the meeting now.
5. I thought it was in the pub-Instead of going to the meeting, go to the pub instead. Don’t come back to work until you’re sure the meeting will be finished. When everyone asks you why you weren’t at the meeting, say that you thought it was in the pub and waited ages for everyone to turn up.
6. Jump out the window-Sometimes the best escape route is the most direct. Though perhaps only try this one if the office is on the ground floor. You wouldn’t want to breach any Health & Safety rules now, would you?
7. Eh, what?-Just before the meeting, when someone starts talking to you, pretend you can’t hear a word they’re saying. Uh oh, it seems like you’ve gone temporarily deaf and there’ll be no point you sitting in on the meeting. Of course, you’ll miraculously ‘regain’ your hearing as soon as everyone else comes out of the meeting.
8. Store cupboard-here’s an easy one: simply hide in the store cupboard for the whole of the meeting.
9. Raise the alarm-If you’re feeling generous and want to help the whole team skip the meeting, break the fire alarm glass. By the time everyone’s filed out for the roll call and the fire brigade have turned up to check everything out, it’ll be too late to start the meeting.
10. Get married-What better excuse for missing a meeting than your own wedding? Arrange to get married at the same time as your meeting and your boss won’t dare ask you to miss your own wedding. What if you don’t have anyone to get married to? Find a work colleague who wants to miss the meeting as much as you do and get married to one another!
Ok, some of these are a little drastic, so if you’re seriously considering any of them, you must really hate meetings! If you hate them that much, it’s an issue you need to address. Ask yourself what it is about them you don’t like. If you find it challenging to contribute anything to them, to make presentations or to take meeting minutes, there a number of ways to resolve this. We can help you with building career skills such as communication skills and giving presentations. You could ask your boss to send you on one of the minute taking courses available, or to help you with skills training in general. However, if you hate your job as a whole, and not just the meetings, consider making different types of changes to your role. You may even come to the conclusion that a career change s right for you. Whatever the reason for your aversion to meetings, it’s time to face up to it and work out a solution, unless you want to be jumping out of windows for the rest of your career!
